Source: http://www.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/series/rhod rhod_20140719-1801a.mp3

Rhod Gilbert on BBC Radio Wales

If you are listening to this, you are listening to Rhod Gilbert's Best Bits, the best bits of his Saturday morning show, live on BBC Radio Wales. This week, it is me, Chris Corcoran, in the driving seat. I'm joined by Eggzy of Goldie Looin' Chain

We are smashing out the choice of pre-prepared roll-over features from last week. / It sounds almost professional when you use words like that / some stuff together / yeah / cup of coffee / I ... well, essentially that last sentence should have been "Yeah, you are listening to / alphabet str__, you are listening to BBC Radio Wales / Korky / Rhod / he's on holiday / I have just done / half as much / preparation / I did / for last week's show / because I'm just using / prepared last week for the last week's show. / It's like, uh, when you were kids / go to school / care / homework for geography / don't / but I'm not gonna ... you know, / what's __ __ again? Shut up, L__" you know what I mean? It's that kind of vibe, isn't it? / fluffy __ __ __ / So, what is __ __ __ / if you don't know, you're gonna fail. Just walk out / lesson now. / Classic. / Classic. ... Look at the way we bring / GCSE level into Saturday morning entertainment. This is the best day of my life. / Uh ... Eggzy, / yes / so, what / involved in / people's interest / ready / "what's your oldest moment?" / Right. / on / text / what is your oldest moment. I tell you my example of this / as / this is the moment / most old compared to your age. I fairly recently went to the zoo, / yeah, / with my sister and a delightful little neice. And, after looking at the animals for no more than 40 minutes. I found a bench, and I heard myself say, __ __ __ only, "Oh, it's nice to sit down." / Lovely. / Right? / Lovely. / preceded by, uh, an involuntary, sort of, sitting-down noise. / "__", the nice sitting-down sigh, "__", / That kind of "__" / Oh, lovely, lovely, yes. / and I said / reflected / 20 years ago, I / playing rugby / at that time / afternoon / look / penguins, kind of / enough / sit down on a bench, and make a letting-out-air noise / wonderful / So, that's the sort of thing. Where have you felt way older than your age? Have you got an example? / Yeah. Uh ... I was shocked and __ recently, uh, after speaking to / I was speaking to / no idea / what / was / obviously other chocolate bars do exist / wow, that's a good one / in-depth conversation with this lad / told me / which is apparently an animated film / no idea what he was talking about / you were looking for common ground? / yeah / looking for common ground / do you know Star Wars? / we are halfway there / spoke / Fantom M__ / come on, now. Don't ... don't push / Fantom M__ junk on me. Uh, and then, uh, he, sort of, went on ... he spoke / film / called __ / film / I didn't know what it was. I tried to find some common ground and said, "You know C__ W__?" / and / another friend / how / can I just t__ / how did you recover? Did you / sort of / awkward moment / off / friend who ended up / f__ bar / because / tried / C__ W__ to demonstrate what it was / right / I like the sound of C__ W__. What is ... what is it again? / looks like a stepladder__ but it's made / toffee__ / picked his interest? / you know / kids don't know what C__ W__s are, and I, you know, / the mind of maniac, and / people just don't understand / no / you know / that's another good example / so, that is, what is your oldest moment, uh, the moment / you have felt the most old, compared to your age? / Yes. / Right. / get in touch / on the text, or rhod / .co.uk. Other ones / throwing out choice, uh, amongst the great British public, what age do you think is too old to dance in a night club? Just send us a ... a number. We'll know what it is / Nearly Convincing Impression Summer Shout Out / really genuinely, "spread the love" sort of, you know, you've heard / in for the last / hours doing / rock-solid / on a Saturday morning, uh, those sorts of shout outs, but we will do it, uh, as a, sort of, vaguely convincing impression of someone famouos / be some random noises in the style of __ __ someone / really famous / got a really personality / between us, we haven't got much going on, really. / No. And we have __constructed that feature over the last few shows we / send us some words / we __ read them out for __. / Classic. __ you go.

... __ __, I'm listening live," This is a man who __ __ drank a lot of coffee. Right? "__! I'm listening live. I'm a long time podcast listen__. So, I'm so excited. Love your show. Three kisses." __, from __ __ / yes, L__ from / get in. That's / greatest text of all time / stopping at every possible service station to drink loads and loads of coffee, please / coffee, please / six coffees in a straw__ / give me a couple of energy drinks as well / where are you going? / I don't know / straight / who's coming? / Join me. Let's start a cult__ / Ask Egzzy / here we go / all of the questions / some of the answers. I will give you a response to any query you have. It may not be the right response, but it will be / response / An answer. / Huh huh. / "Morning, __ and Eggzy. First-time live listener. I've only / podcast before. I'd like to ask Eggzy how to get least wet when travelling on foot in the rain without an umbrella? / Huhhh ... / Do you walk? Or do you run? I felt ..." Oh, this person offers an "oldest" stuff as well. / So, we've got / two responses / Mark in London / OK, Mark, this is / thank you for contact / this is a double w__. Do you want / first? / let's bring Mark's ... uh ... let's break it down into two / Good. / OK. ... I feel like a teacher going through someon's homework here / come up / two key points / study / three because he __ done a shout out as well / impression / paragraph / Oh, Mark, Mark, / break it down to three parts. It's a Trilogy of Mark, I'd like to call this, the, uh, this is ... so, this is the Fantom M__ part of, uh, of Mark's trilogy / yeah / let's start / Mark's first point and see where we go / Sure. / OK. / OK. So, uh, drop Mark's information in, and let's ... let's begin. / OK. so, uh ... in a word, it's "Do you walk, or do you run, if you are travelling on foot in the rain without an umbrella? How do you stay driest? Mark wants to know. / I ... I ... um, sort of / find someone who's got a raincoat on, get behind / under the raincoat / and you end up walking behind / look like a panto__ donkey or something like that / sure / you know / that's fine, but you are offering an alternative umbrella solution / what Mark / is, if you haven't any coverage / no one around, you can just / sneak up behind / strange / raincoat / just sneak up / climb inside their coat / OK. / you haven't got that option / OK. / all you've got is the ability to either go slower, / right, / or to go faster, in the rain. What is / most likely to keep you dry / you have to run. You have to run. Uh, you cannot walk / incredibly angry, and you end up hating society. Just run. / Yeah. / Run like __ __ / say / running / obviously you're running into the rain more and more, so you / more and more annoyed? / it whips your face, but, you / the only / grace / some sort of / Olympic long distance runner / Yes, that's true. / who's up against the, uh, the elements / you against nature now. / That's great. / just you / whenever / "Look at me. I won." / Yeah. / and there you go / childlike disposition __ outlook / on life / way forward / Exactly. Yes. / I won. I might be wet, but I won. ... I beat the nature. / Yeah / Well, Mark's got a few other little points. S__ we / let's move / Mark's got a few other / message / says / playing rugby for the first time in a year when I was 19. I'm sure it never used to hurt that much. Absolutely I can / pain / I mean / one way to avoid / never take part / physical sport / don't play. / Just watch videos. / Yeah. / sure / at the moment. / Uh, at the moment, uh, I've got __ __ talking to our producer / early on, actually, great film / who discovered the lost world of Atlantis / yeah / and / Atlantian / take over the world / the leader / plastic mask, and they ride motorbikes, and they've got / go / my hot tips / great film / there you go, Mark / just, finally, uh, he says, "too old at 37 to dance in a disco / can I have a shout out to __ with a hangover, ideally Arnie, telling her to man-up__ / OK. Great / if you like to do that / Arnie / it's time to man-up__. Get to the chopper. Now.

coming at the peak of interest for the Nearly Convincing / innundated with / written words / This is a strong show with a strong response from at least six people. We are going great guns here__ today. / Yeah. "Hiya / happy / for today? Lots of love / brother / Eggzy can do Arnold S__, / Yeah, / Eggzy can do professor Brian Cox. / Yeah. / I can do an absolutely incredible version of Morgan Freeman. / very strong one, that, yeah. / Eggzy can Ringo St__. / Yes. / Um ... I've got two / can / Brian B__ / Oh. Now you are talking. / And B__ B__. / Oh, good / I always wanted / to be my uncle as a child / always / this is great / new ones / I've got / John P__, and, / song / I've got Bob D__ as well / what a brilliant song that was! / not bad / So, let's do these. / OK. / take / ok / so, this is / Hi, guys / happy birthday / Beth / daughter / for today / John / do you wanna go first? / give you, um, / heap of encouragement / Catherine / this is yours / at present. / OK. / to be listening / in fairness / it's the spirit that counts / great show / H__'s mom / so, that / yours / H__'s mom / park / OK. / Uh ... so, happy birthday to my daughter Beth / from Pat / here we go. Ahem, ahem, ... uh ... "Beth Summars__, hello, there. Mom Pat__ __ been in touch wishing me to wish you happy birthday. Splend__ / He's alive! Gordon's alive!" / Cue, Eggz / Undeniably, uh, __ __ __ today / __ park, but, uh, since I / I would like to / probably__ / wrong speed anyway. / John P__.

The printer has gone / over 12 people have responded to some of the stuff we have spoken about today. This is a great day for broadcasting / from last week, and / one / feature / oldest moment, the moment / felt the most old compared to your age / Hi, __. Talking about feeling old / when you are not old / I was about 14 at the time / out of the house cycling / I came across with children playing sticks-and-stones / as / shouted / don't do anything. There's a man coming." / A man? I was only 14. I remember feeling old / thing / school / when you joined / secondary / 11 / 16, they were full-sized adults / they were gigantic / giants / giants / how come / what / happened / I thought / became a giant. You know what I mean? / there's that tiny space where you can't differenciate between / it's magic, it's magical, but / wonderful / when 22-year-old friends / impressed / iPod One. They'd never seen / original / "Hi, both. Talking about feeling old, I was talking / neighbour's daughter yesterday / theatre / were coming this November, ... and I'd love to see them / she / said / never heard of them." I / old / yes / classic, isn't it? / I like that, yeah. / like doing is, / couple of nephews / very young / piece of vinyl / yeah / OK / do you know what this is / they / just look at it / do they really really not know? / trying / from the past / old action figures from toys, you know / long / historical toys / or anything from the 80's / Rubic's Cube / but they might call it something like "a puzzle block" / know / know the full cultural strengh behind ... behind these wonderful things / if you / get in touch /

First Day Kid, that is / my silver lining / I've never heard that before / either / images / across / I quite liked it / Hi Plains__ Drifter / Clint E__. / D__ as well / liked / cowboy / leather trousers / some sort of / vibe going on / brand-new lasso / before / just untouched / looked like / new clothes / Yeah, always, even if / out / sand-storm / clean-shaven / oh yeah / bad cowboy / good cowboy / nice / clean / know / beard / smokes as well / heavy smoker / terrible cough on / as well / that's what they do / from / texas / D__, can you get me / something like that / really / you're listening to __ and Eggzy. Uh, we have got / loads / on / listener / what is your oldest moment / oldest moment, just now / 65 / old / no longer / Bob D__ song / very sad / Pamela / supposed to be / text / 's shame, __'s shame / hi, Chris and Eggzy / tell / "I'll see you in weeks." / from The Terminator / how to spell his name / who / yes / see you in two weeks / I'll see you in two weeks / get your ... to Mars / rude word / done / movie / Total Recall / he's got / everyone feels / that's true / Chris / can you wish M__ Thomas Brooks / my / a happy third birthday / style of / oh, ok / now / this / person / feature / whole new level / into f__. It was ... it was t__, and now / name / person / now / well, OK / name, I guess. But / this person gets it. Well done, this person / the closest I can get to __ __ is / probably / can you, can you ... you know, / I could / I mean / gonna / you can't set ourselves up / doing things / Nearly Convincing / dismiss / embrace it / try / nearly convincing / yeah. It's not what / Albert / Albert / that's it, yeah / more like that / shall / birthday / ok / birthday boy / birthday wishes / dad / a little / his birthday / nearly / you stupid / piano going / from downstairs / that's close / mate, that ... / was nearly convincing.

ok / this one is / great British public / old / stuff / at night club / somebody / OK. / somebody suggested / think / technically, I would say, if / textbook / 22 / hang on a minute / shut / that's the way I __. That's the way I __. / I've always been the one / really / people / sake / lots / making / a / know / good / subjective / be good / express / you can just wobble a bit, yeah. / saying / survey / when are you too / inking / tatoos / ok / and / dancing at a night club / was / past the age of 37 / too / context / are you drunk / just / full stop / ok / mate / my best dancing / 35 / out. / I mean, whoever / making these rules / is / nasty / this is the British public / public / personally / right / night club / that's the spirit / British / trouble / later / even / already / any excuse / under the age of, you know, / younger / gonna / 37 / watching / dancing / not a great dancer / shapes / good / not a great dancer / doubt / put you off, Eggz / mean / no / matter / thing / kids / whispering to each other / tweeting / each other / Unbelievable. / shocking behavior / how old is too old / tatoo / modern / acordding to / say / 31 / how old is it too old to / text / email / to a stranger / with a kiss? / ... 12. / yeah / exactly / I say never / to your mates / girlfriend / but / stranger / little / laugh with them / don't / know / said about / routinely / never / no / if / stranger / uncomfortable / uncomfortable / weird kiss / what about this / get an email / little / next time / person / kiss / both eyes / first / reason I did that / freak / sent me / stop / put an end to it / kiss them on both eyes / through / eye / pretty much / like / someone / meet / who might send / stranger / French / they're the only ones

chatting / back / idea / kisses / too / stranger / text / producer / pointed out / in a social / know / what / kisses / do a handshake, you can do a b__ hug / do / high-five / you should / stop / 27 / uh, and that's true / had / once / particularly in this show business / love-you environment / bit / mate, and you / really love-y__ / nonsense / but, on the other hand, / sometimes / give / when the kiss is coming / embarrassing stories of my life / listeners right now / here / commissioner-type in London / one of the top __ / sort / top / but important, certainly / quite nervous about it / party / so, normally / habit / doing the old double kiss / everybody / they love it there / yeah / good / both eyes / so / I went to greet this important person with a dual attack of handshake and / double / now, she / handshake / yeah / and, as I leaned in / double / clearly / into / ok / at that point, you've got an issue / too far forward / not / not to appear / triky / so, I thought / pull out of this, / yeah / she might / wrong / chosen / I / her / towards me with handshake, thinking / I went for it / further / ground / get involved / fully leaning in / she / sort of, / half-inch away / then / went / got / in the bud / swooped in / had to kiss me, otherwise / don't touch / to which side we went for / ended up kissing on the lips / should / everybody / now / entire night / would be a great thing to do / what / caught / kiss / even if it's a man / grab / got / everyone / don't go / make that same mistake / husband / regardless of your gender / in a way / Ask Eggzy

we are talking about / public / Eggzy / when you are surprised / too / body / age 29 / I'd say 19 / too old / beard / yeah / I think so / and / best mate / for 25 / what age / 43 / Yeah. I mean, unless you are / someone / not / medical rep / Then, I'm sorry, dude, / get / off / pretty / through / off / is / goaty / very long / something / all / get a grip / age / 29 / get / pony / solid heavy metallers. A solid / part / computer programmer from home / get rid of it / shirt / at the age of 37 / think / anyone / do / that's the way I __ / good / do the actual sport / gigs / gonna / motorbikes / Saturday afternoon / just to prove / bikini / 48 / which gender / any / slightly strange / live the dream. Do what / whatever / wear bikini, do it / woman / any / yourself / if you are 90 / cause / any / care / topless / do / what you want / Do what you want / live / dream / wearing a baseball cap / 32 / moderately successful pop group / baseball cap action / again / practical purpose / used / to absorb sweat, / yeah, / yeah / headband, mate / I agree more with the headband / yeah / I'd say / technically / something / stop / 22 / I think / British / way out / quite get a hang of / guess / 10 / just stop using / 29 / oh, come on / any / mate / smiley faces / I quite like / that's fine / we / because / stop / emocations / emoticons / I know / yes, yes / age 6 / sorry / express / what sort of world we were living! / back / british / good time / too old for that / trouble / being / used / regret not having it anymore / taxi / with / moderately successful pop group / just / mate / fun / skateboard / any / go / c__-top / age / seem / man / woman / still / go / wearing hi-heels / 50's / no problem

we have a couple of / shout-out to do, Eggz / strong / Nina a shout out / morgan / she / podcast / mentioned / mom / I realized / was a woman / special talent / she / changed my life / listen / regularly every Saturday morning / it's so accurate / realize / myself / feels / talking / very / name / so / when / old lady / struggling / Brian / Is he here? / "Betty, although / itself / happy / I hope / play / Betty, I love you secretly / thanks, professor Brian Cox / problem / over 35 / wow / what's the most unusual name / stars / probably / late night sky / milky / strongest / wishes / like / there / from / Wonderful.

And If you've enjoyed / whole / live / every Saturday morning from 11 till 1.